Blog · Funny Stuff · Humor · Random Crap · relationships · Social Media

Don’t Resent Me for These Resentments

Resentment

I have so many resentments that I am afraid people will resent me for this post. But alas, it is time for Mr. Brick to man up and become a better person by being grateful instead of resentful. I’m so glad I have this platform to spill my guts and become a better person. So, starting right now, I am cleaning out my personal resentment closet and starting anew.

In an attempt to be more grateful and to be held accountable for this new path, I am going to list my resentments here:

1. I resent the pimply-faced teenager who put a regular cheeseburger in my bag as I zipped through the McDonald’s drive-through when in fact I paid for a cheeseburger, hence the word CHEESE.

NEW GRATEFUL ATTITUDE: I am grateful I am able to afford the extra $1.10 for a single slice of fake cheese.

2. I resent the fat-ass college English professor who sent me my grade via email with more typos in his email explanation of why he gave me a C grade.

NEW GRATEFUL ATTITUDE: I am grateful for websites like Rate My Professor were I go can to in advance of signing up for a class to, I can see who is be helping me with my poor grammar skills and who will not.  Professor Doerr didn’t!

3. I resent that my apartment building’s elevator system seems to always have one of the four main elevators not working at all times.

NEW GRATEFUL ATTITUDE: I am grateful for being in the elevator that broke down last night because I was able to spend 45 quality moments with my hot neighbor girl and her dog Toby from apartment 2828.

4.  I resent that Spectrum makes me pay for 27 Spanish language channels when I do not speak Spanish.

NEW GRATEFUL ATTITUDE: I am grateful for Google Translator so I can try and be funny right now…

Estoy agradecido de que Telemundo tenga algunas presentadoras femeninas de fumar

5.  I resent that Twinkies only comes two to a package.

NEW GRATEFUL ATTITUDE: That Hostess also sells Twinkies in boxes of twelve.

6. I resent that the McRib is only a seasonal item on the McDonald’s menu.

NEW GRATEFUL ATTITUDE: I am trying not to eat meat, so I’m grateful the McRib is probably not made from real meat.

7. I resent that eBay makes me change my password every 6 months. How am I supposed to remember such a trival thing from six months ago?

NEW GRATEFUL ATTITUDE: I am grateful that I decided to only use the same password of IDONTKNOW1234 on all of my sites.

8. I resent that Diet Coke has not made a can of Diet Coke with my name, Mr. Brick, on it (yet.)

NEW GRATEFUL ATTITUDE: I am grateful I quit drinking Diet Coke (for now).

9. I resent horses because they smell like horse shit.

NEW GRATEFUL ATTITUDE: I am grateful I am not a horse.

10. I resent the cop who told me to have a nice day after giving me a $114 speeding ticket. yesterday. What a Jerk.

NEW GRATEFUL ATTITUDE: I am grateful for the first responders who put their lives on the line each day… side note to Officer Gillispe, Don’t be a jerk!

11. I resent my mailman for  folding an envelope clearly marked “do not bend” to fit it into my small-ish USPO issued mailbox.

NEW GRATEFUL ATTITUDE: I am grateful the post office now has Informed Delivery where I can digitally preview all of my folded mail.

12. I resent the full moon for making others act like jackasses.

NEW GRATEFUL ATTITUDE: I am glad we only havde one full month a month…unless we have the rare blue moon.

13. I resent Apple for making their iPhone’s so technologically challenging that I had to ask a 3rd grader for help.

NEW GRATEFUL ATTITUDE: I am grateful for that 3rd grader who allowed me to pay him in Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups for his tech support.

14. I resent the US Post Office for cornering the employment market on hiring the best of the complete moron gene pool.

NEW GRATEFUL ATTITUDE: I am grateful for the technolgy where I can do almost everything online without having to step foot inside a post office.

15. I resent the DMV for cornering the employment market on hiring the best morons who failed the US Post Office employment test.

NEW GRATEFUL ATTITUDE: I am grateful that my driver’s license are renewable on line for up to 20 years.

16.  I resent that on a recent trip to Walgreens last night the sales clerk decided to do a price check over the loudspeaker on a box of condoms, and then adding, “They are size small.”

NEW GRATEFUL ATTITUDE: Embarrassment aside, I’m grateful I went to Walgreen’s last night because that was just before the big elevator fail. See #3

17. I resent that dogs don’t live for ever.

NEW GRATEFUL ATTITUDE: I am grateful for the times I have had with both of my fur babies, Sunny and Pjojo.

18. I resent Nike for making $750 sneakers… it’s just not fair that only drug dealers can afford their expensive kicks.

NEW GRATEFUL ATTITUDE: I am grateful I live simply. I would never pay that much for toe wraps.

19. I resent Cap’n Crunch for making a cereal that must have some addictive additive in their list of ingredients.

NEW GRATEFUL ATTITUDE: I am grateful that the makers of Cap’n Crunch have just introduced the jumbo “Home Lock Down” 120 oz Family size boxes of their cereal.

20. I resent Burger King for abandoning their King mascot. Over the years he had become Mr. Brick’s friend. And now, poof, he’s gone.

NEW GRATEFUL ATTITUDE: I am grateful I still have his poster above my bed next to my Farrah Fawcet poster.

21. Financially, I resent Bill and Melinda Gates for not being my parents.

NEW GRATEFUL ATTITUDE: Morally, I am grateful for Bill and Melinda Gates not being my parents.

22. I resent my former neighbor girl for always wearing such a skimpy bikini when she tanned. I have two words for her, tan lines. Just take it off already.

NEW GRATEFUL ATTITUDE: I regret last night’s encounter didn’t have similar tan lines. But a tap is a tap.

23. I resent Billy Ray Cyrus for spawning Miley Cyrus.

NEW GRATEFUL ATTITUDE: I am grateful to Miley for her song The Climb.

24. I resent smokers who throw their cigarette butt on the ground when they walk into a store and then grab an antibacterial wipe before touching a shopping cart.

NEW GRATEFUL ATTITUDE: I am grateful for the Coronavirus forcing stores to use antibacterial wipes on each cart.

 

Have a grateful day!

Mr.-Brick-Signature

Link to my Hollywood Rat Books on Amazon, but don’t resent me for the typos, It’s Professor Doerr’s fault.

Please subscribe to this blog. but don’t resent me when you get a new email post about it

You can follow me on Twitter @MrBricksWorld. But don’t resnt me for what I tweet.

You can follow me on Instagram

You can follow me on my Facebook Page

You can learn how to Manage your Own Business (or the business of others) Here at Mr-Brick.com

This content may contain affiliate links which may result in my being financially compensated for purchases site visitors make through said links. There… I said it!