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Here’s my 2020 Hail Mary Pass to Society!

Good Blogs Give Useful Information About the Future!

This post is not about viruses, religion, politics, or sex. Nope, that stuff is way above Mr. Brick’s pay grade… this is a simple parody post about human nature and ways we can change it to make life more enjoyable. I want to essentially reset and clean up not only our own planet but let’s do a deep clean on the entire solar system. We can start by cleaning your Uranus! Then we will move on to planet Earth and give it a giant reboot. This might be one last chance to get it right before we all go to Hell in a hen basket. Sometimes I think we need to take two steps back to take one step forward. I talk about the need to take a step back to step forward in life in my online management course: Manage Your Own Business: MYOB

Here is how I would do it:

First I would start by opening every jail door and prison cell and letting all inmates go free. Oh, wait did we just do that last month? I know how crazy this sounds, but it is a reset for our judicial system. This is every incarcerated convict’s one and only “get out of jail free” card. At the point of their release, any actually wrongfully convicted person would no longer have a beef with society. Any person who was in prison and had actually committed a crime, well here’s a real chance for their redemption. A chance to make something of their life and an opportunity to help others. It’s a chance for all of those Bad girls in jail to now become good girls. But it would be understood by everyone that from this point forward we would have a nation of tougher laws with harsher penalties. For many habitual criminals who just don’t want to do the right thing, most likely they will quickly find themselves back in prison, and this time for a tougher sentence. That one is on them, not on the backs of society anymore. We would no longer have to listen to sad, sappy stories that are featured on CNBC Lockup.

Some Day We All Will Die

I did some research on the interweb and found out that someday we all will die… Yep, it’s true, check here and you can even see your death date. NOTE: As of today it is predicted I will die on: Sunday, 28th June 2043. With that gruesome detail aside, as the newly appointed “what-will-happen-to-our-society-guy” I would immediately allow anyone of any age to smoke, drink, or even consume massive amounts of soda if that is what they want to do. They are only facilitating their own death. Health prevention is for sissies. Why should we pay any of our own hard-earned money to have someone else to tell us how to live our lives, screw that, this is still America, right? Long live the #BigMac, #McRib, #DoubleWhopperWithCheeseAndBacon, #ChiliCheeseFries. Additionally, Taco Tuesdays will be extended to Taco Wednesdays and Taco Thursdays. Because it’s my body and I will do with it what I want. Oh, wait… is that some chili cheese fries I smell?

Let’s Legalize All Drugs

You like the fact that recreational marijuana is legal in many states? Well, let’s just not stop with cannabis. Going forward, stores that went out of business due to Covid-19 will now feature pop-up drug stores, not as in Walgreen’s or CVS type of drug stores, but as in The Happy Heroin, Go Lucky’s LSD Stand, or even The Ecstasy Express kinds of stores.

TV News Will Be Banned

I think all TV networks should be more responsible and not program any more news. This will end the debate whether something is fake news or not. Problem solved. You’re welcome. The networks could program more shows enriching shows about real people, like E’s Kardashian juggernaut, or like Bravo’s Housewive shows or all of those shows about little people on TLC. Oh, and cable tv and the internet is now free. I mean come on folks… why do I have to pay Spectrum $100 a month to have wires coming to my house… I should charge them the opportunity to be my internet provider so I could share beautiful poetic works of art, like this blog to the entire planet. After all, content is king, right? So, as a content provider why do I have to pay Spectrum for the opportunity? There is something wrong with this picture?

Thanks to My Brick’s wizardry, and back to the legalization of drugs… I would ensure that not just marijuana, but all illegal drugs would be legalized in all 52 states. Oh, I say 52 states, I forgot to tell you, we’re buying Mexico and Cuba as the 51st and 52nd state respectfully. The number one reason I did those executive moves was that they have terrific baseball players. And don’t worry your cute little heads out there, I’m not going to destroy the country, baseball will still be the national pastime. So, if it is your desire to sit around your apartment, stoned, wearing nothing but your soiled underpants and watching black and white reruns of “Leave it To Beaver” on TV Land, then that is your option. If you want to start taking Meth like it’s Pez candy, be my guest. It’s your life and I don’t give a crap what you do… because you’re gonna let me have my 72oz sodas and super large french fries, right? See, I bet you are already feeling better about the planet.

I think we should end any and all government assistance. Period. If you’re old, get your kids to pay for you. You footed the bills and paid for their nappy asses for the first 18 24 years, now it’s their turn. I think they already do this in Japan. I need to check it out. If you don’t have children, well whose fault is it for not spawning when you could spawn? That reminds me… prostitution would be legalized. I support #MeToo. I’m not going to tell a super hot chick that she can’t make money selling her body. Far be it from me to judge or to be the one to tell someone who is having unprotected sex with a skank on the street corner that it is not good for them. I won’t judge them, but I do have one word for them: Scabies. Remember back in the 1970s when we all said, if it feels good, do it? That’s what I’m talking about.

If you’re sick, well suck it up, Buttercup. You’ve got to get better on your own. If you want to wear a cloth safety mask so you don’t get sick, you can buy one that I designed!  Order that here.  We’re not going to shut down the world for you ever again. Nope. Not happening. If you’re hungry, get off your ass and get a job. See, look how easy all of that was. If you work, you can keep your own money. Since we abolished government assistance in the last paragraph, you don’t need to pay taxes — because there are no one longer millions of blood-sucking leeches on the dole. The only ones who should be looking for jobs should be ex-governors, ex-senators, and ex-congressmen.

Clothing is Now Optional

Clothing will become optional. How many times have you been getting ready for work, or school, and told yourself, “I don’t have a thing to wear.” And we know that is a big fat lie you keep telling yourself, isn’t it?  You can always Order Clothes from Amazon
to get yourself some new clothes. Truth be told, you have things to wear, but you failed to put down the Doritos. 72 oz Mt. Dew or that quart of Chunky Monkey Ice Cream and now your ass is too fat for all of the clothes you have hanging in the closet. That’s on you, big guy or big girl.

Don’t blame society… but lucky for you society is giving you a pass on this one, and will now allow you to not worry about wearing clothes if they don’t fit. You don’t have to wear clothes at all, anywhere. Having a clothes optional society will solve some of life’s other little problems, like some economical woes. You no longer need to buy laundry detergent, so that’s more money in your pocket… oops wait, you’re buck ass naked, you have no pockets. Umm, well, if you are a prude and decide to actually wear clothes, then you no longer have to search for quarters to go to the laundromat. Nope, you can just throw your clothes into a pile and clean them next month, when you have extra quarters from that big poker win.

Speaking of poker, gambling will be encouraged as a way of being more honest and as an actual career move. Yep, I am starting a work at home course on how to start an online gambling career. If you don’t want to become a work at home gambler, you can always try Lady Luck at one of your local casinos. Are you tired of being at the casino, your cell phone rings, (it’s your Mom) and you tell her that you are at Wal-Mart? You have to lie to your Mom because you don’t want her to know you’re gambling away all of her Old Folks Home money. If Gambling is encouraged, and it would be, then you can look at it as a totally legit career move, next time when your Mom calls you and you are at the casino, you can proudly (and honestly) tell her you are at work. In a move to prop up the failing US Post Office, all postage stamps will also now be Lottery Scratch tickets. That way if a ticket isn’t a winner you can now stick it on the outside of an envelope and use it as a stamp to send a letter. 

I know Mr. Brick’s utopia is not for the faint of heart — but you must admit, we’d all have a pretty good time living there if such a place existed, but sadly we know it does not and this is just a joke. <– that was my disclaimer.

Happy May!  Have a great week and here’s to hoping you all are safe and happy… because life is really too short not to live it to it’s fullest.


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