Humor

Top Reasons Covid Could Be A Hoax

For Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

WHO KNEW

Every now and again Mr. Brick likes to put down his chili-cheese fries long enough to speak his mind. This is one of those moments. For almost 17 months the world has been shamed into fear of death or murder unless we isolated, locked down, masked up, and quit watching the Kardashians. (Note: Apparently Dr. Fauci is not a fan of KWK.) Who knew? I guess the World Health Organization knew, that’s WHO.

So, lets look at the facts as we all have been told:

  • The virus only travels in one direction inside of buildings, so please follow the arrows or you will be detained.
  • The virus is high class therefor it is mandatory for some pimple-faced kid to spray down all of the shopping carts at Trader Joe’s but not the Piggly Wiggly or Dollar Tree. NOTE: MR. Pimple Face, please wipe the carts after you spray.
  • You can get the virus walking into a restaurant, but once you are seated you can not get it.
  • According to President Biden 350,000,000 US citizens have been vaccinated. That’s 108% of the US population. No worries, Joe was using the same Dominion machines that counted the 2020 ballots, so we know it is accurate.
  • If you are a senator from Texas you realize that wearing a mask is only for the little people so you don’t even bother.
  • The most uptight females are all named Karen or Carin. What are the odds?
  • Real Estate Agents are deemed essential workers, but the clergy are not. That one pissed off God (and Mr. Brick).
  • If you go to a strip club you must wear a mask, but you can shove a $20 bill up some stranger’s coochi without wearing gloves.
  • The virus originated not in China but in some American Amish town because bars and barbers needed to be closed.
  • 2020 was the year with the lowest number of cases reports of seasonal flu in modern times. Less than .2% tested positive for the flu. Hmmmmm, if we could trust the numbers the dang Covid beat the crap out the the flu, but we can’t, so just roll with it. source: https://www.cdc.gov/flu/season/faq-flu-season-2020-2021.htm
  • The virus can attack any Uber driver in any car when they are alone so they must keep a mask on, but anyone driving a Bentley or BMW were secretly granted immunity and don’t need to wear a mask inside their cars.
  • Casinos are a horrible place for people with a respiratory illness because al of the smoke. Covid in its nature is a respiratory illness so you would think they would ban smoking in all casinos. No, instead they mandate masks for everyone… except when someone is smoking. WTF?

VACCINES? PASSPORTS? DON’T EVEN GET STARTED WITH MR. BRICK

  • Now if you want to go to dinner in NYC you must show a vaccine passport. But you didn’t need to show anything to vote, because that was racist. Remember HIPPA anyone?
  • The US African American population is less than 12% vaccinated. The white US population is vaccinated rate is at 61%. and makes me wonder, where are the protestors? I thought Black Lives Matter? <Crickets>
  • If I want to go to movie and I’m a US Citizen I must show a valid ID and a vaccine passport. If I am an illegal wanting to get into this country my covid status doesn’t matter, I’m given food stamps, a cell phone, internet service, a place to stay an ATM card with free money added every week.

OK.. stepping down from my soap box.

Have a cheesy day!

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