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Do People Really Celebrate Their Dog’s Birthday?

Sunny 1

I remember back in the days when I didn’t really want the entire world knowing my little, silly, quirks.  But the older I get, frankly, I just don’t really give a damn! I might as well publish them in a blog and let everyone know what they are, before someone finds out, and tries to use them against me in a court of law. I guess you can look at this as me being pro-active in the personal quirk department.

In no certain order, here are some of my quirks that make me who I am. If you are female, can personally identify with at least 5 of them, but not all of them, then maybe you and I should hook up. If you identify with all of them, then hit the road baby.  I really don’t want to date myself because I know what a pathetic little bug I really can be.

Okay, drum roll, please…

1. I love buying my dog sweaters and treats at Chewy’s. I love when people celebrate their dog’s birthday. I always do. Happy Birthday, Sunny!

2. My cell phone resembles a cell phone used by Fred Flintstone. It flips open and has an antenna. I don’t have a data plan on it either. Just call and text service. I have been eyeing an iPhone but all that new technology might make me blow a gasket.

3. I have no idea what a gasket is.

4.  I can’t pee in open urinals.

5.  I used to like Fig Newtons until I was told they are made from figs.

6.  I, love to write, but sometimes, I use, way too many, commas. Perhaps I need a proofreading course, like Proofread Anywhere.

7.  My dream shopping spree would be at Staples and not Macy’s.

8.  I love the NY Yankees and the LA Dodgers. I’m bi-coastal when it comes to baseball.

9.  Although I do not smoke, it doesn’t bother me. I prefer to smell smoke than body odor…just sayin’

10. When I go to a casino and once I sit at a slot machine, I can’t change to any other machines that are within eyesight. I’m scared to get up, move over a couple of machines, only to watch someone hit the jackpot on “my machine.” I will move to the other end of the casino when I do get up.

11.  I collect fountain pens. I love the dip-in-the-ink kind, as well as modern fountain pens.

12.  Pajamas are overrated. I have pajamas, but I don’t wear them.

13.  The only flavor of jelly I like is grape.

14.  I always wait until April 14th to file my taxes. I dislike people who wait until the very last day to file.

15.  I like to eat pizza with my hands. Obviously, I do not belong to any country clubs.

16. I carry a silver dollar with me at all times for good luck.

17.  I have 33 pairs of shoes, but only 12 pairs of socks.

18.  Some of my “friends” on Facebook are not really my friends, but more like frienemies.

19. I don’t always lock my front or back doors at home.

20. I have a shotgun. See #19.

21.  I clip articles from magazines and sometimes never read them. Recently I scanned them all into my computer.

22. I can’t cook, but consider myself a culinary wizard with the microwave.

23. I save all my old passports. I don’t know why because they aren’t valid anymore. I guess I like all the colorful stamps from the places I have traveled to.

24. I can lucid dream.

25. I’m totally crushing on Danica Patrick.  Note to Danica: Call me!

26.  The sleeping pill is the mother of all inventions. Sometimes, it’s the only way to turn my brain off.

27. I would love to enter the Nathan’s Hot Dog eating contest. My personal best is two.

28. I talk a lot about food, but the truth is, I really don’t like food.

29. My blogs are 50% poetic license.

30. I have to use Windex every day to clean my laptop screen. Cleanliness is next to Godliness in my book.

31. I forgot to get married.

32. I like doing unexpected things for total strangers, like paying for the coffee for the car behind me at the Starbuck’s drive-thru and then driving off.

33.  I lie about my height. I say 5’11”, when in reality, I’m only, 5’10”

34. I love getting mail.

35. Some days I skip lunch.

36. I love to draw. There are days I order Nathan’s hot dog and draw at lunchtime.

37.  I love to crack myself up.

38.  *I wear a size 18 shoe.

39.  Any woman is attractive if they are wearing Red Door perfume.

40.  It may take me twenty minutes to decide what flavor of ice cream to get…but I always will end up getting chocolate chip mint.

42. A funny woman is a sexy woman. What man doesn’t want to boink Sarah Silverman?

43. I do laundry every Saturday morning.

44. I carry tire chains in my car during the wintertime. I have no idea how to put them on and I live in Florida. Go figure.

45. I can eat a maple bar either right after church on Sunday morning or when I am moving. All other times it tastes disgusting.

46. I practice writing my signature for when I am famous!

47. I once rode a bicycle (not a motorcycle, a bike, as in, if you don’t pedal, you don’t move)  from Seattle to Washington D.C. in 49 days. I haven’t been on a bike since.

48. I use a sharpie marker to sign everything.

49. Plain hummus makes me sick. Chocolate hummus, not so much. Yum.

50. My favorite breakfast is a soft pretzel and an Apple flavored Bubbly.  (Note: If you’re a Gastroenterologist, keep your thoughts to yourself)

Have a great day!

Mr. Brick

Follow me on Twitter @MrBricksWorld

* When I wore clown shoes in the circus.  #oldschool #BigFeet

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