Dating · Funny Stuff · Humor

Where are the Cutest Girls on Earth?

Candy Hendrix
Photo courtesy of Candy Hendrix from Facebook

This post is about girls. Just girls, nothing else. It’s inspired by many true events in my life dealing with and encountering a vast array of girls around the country. Due to space, possible legal litigation, and on the advice of my attorney, I won’t go into specifics.

In 1985 David Lee Roth so eloquently wrote and sang about beautiful girls in his hit song, California Girls.   To quote the poetic Roth,

Well East coast girls are hip
I really dig those styles they wear
And the Southern girls with the way they talk
They knock me out when I’m down there

I now live in Florida, and I must say… Southern girls do knock me out when I hear them speak! I still have a flutter in my heart from that petite, blonde server at Cracker Barrel, sigh! She had me at, “Sir, you spilled crap down your shirt.” I just love a good southern accent.

The phrase,  “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” is a phrase that has been around longer than Mr. Brick’s blog! That’s a long-ass time. According to, the person who is widely credited with coining the saying in its current form is Margaret Wolfe Hungerford, who wrote many books, often under the pseudonym of ‘The Duchess’. In Molly Bawn, 1878, there’s the line “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. However, the saying first appeared in the 3rd century BC in Greek. It didn’t appear in its current form in print until the 19th century, but in the meantime, there were various written forms that expressed much the same thought. In 1588, the English dramatist John Lyly, in his Euphues and his England, wrote:

“…as neere is Fancie to Beautie, as the pricke to the Rose, as the stalke to the rynde, as the earth to the roote.”

William Shakespeare expressed a similar sentiment in Love’s Labours Lost, 1588:

Good Lord Boyet, my beauty, though but mean,
Needs not the painted flourish of your praise:
Beauty is bought by judgement of the eye,
Not utter’d by base sale of chapmen’s tongues

Benjamin Franklin, in Poor Richard’s Almanack, 1741, wrote:

Beauty, like supreme dominion
Is but supported by opinion

So, it is easy to see that beauty, in the case of this blog post, the beauty of a girl, is truly in the eye of the beholder. It is not just a flat stomach and a tight ass, although, with those two starting qualities, life might be a tad easier for you: think, free drinks for life. However, life is not a slam dunk just because you’re a hardbody and can totally rock those yoga pants. You could have a nice ass, flat stomach – and let’s throw in a well-developed chest, yet, if a girl doesn’t have the face to support the rest of the beautiful architecture, well then in the eyes of many guys, those girls just become butter. You’ve heard guys say that before, as they are bragging to their friends about last night’s blind date… “Everything was perfect about her “but her” face.” Bada Bing!

David Lee Roth continued…

The Mid-West farmer’s daughters really make you feel alright
And the Northern girls with the way they kiss
They keep their boyfriends warm at night

Now, at the risk of losing my man card, I must admit, I’ve watched some episodes of, The Bachelor . Okay, it was just 10 minutes of the finale where that farmer dude, Chris Soules picked fertility nurse, Whitney Bischoff. I think Whitney was a good choice because being from Chicago, she was not far removed from Chris’ mid-west family values. David Lee Roth nailed it once again!

Although, many guys do likely judge a girl simply on their physical appearance. That is not how I roll. Sure I notice and appreciate a good ass when I see one, but honestly, I see a girl’s soul. I see it through her eyes. I have always had a thing for a girl with beautiful eyes. Remember the Kim Carnes’ song, Bette Davis Eyes? That’s what I’m talking about. Who would want a super hot girlfriend with, say, Charles Manson eyes? Creepy. Oddly enough, many guys are so into finding a girl with a perfect body, that if, after several dates, they were asked what color were the girl’s eyes, they wouldn’t even know. Not just, Fail, but, Epic Fail.

God knew exactly what he was doing when he created the woman from the rib of man. I wished more men saw their relationship with women, the way God intended it to be. Men and women were created equal. It just so happened that God put some beautiful upgrades on girls that men don’t have. Many guys spend their entire life compensating for their own feelings of insecurity. They decide in order to make them feel more superior they most control their girl. Mistake. I do not care if a girl has the face of an angel or the face a wire fox terrier – she should always be treated with respect. NOTE: This all applies unless a girl’s last name happens to be Kardashian or Jenner. Then all of the above is thrown out because the Kardashians are just one ugly hot mess of a family. The entire Kardashian movement has set back women’s rights by 50 years.

I recently was in an airport and overheard two girls talking as they walked away from their plane that had just landed. Girl #1 was what some guys would describe as a plain Jane. Her hair was brunette and straight. She wore very little make-up to cover an acceptable face. Girl#2 was what society says a girl should aspire to be. Perfectly coiffed Blonde hair with designer jeans and a billowy white peasant blouse covering a really nice petite frame with a beautiful face. And then they opened their mouths..

Girl #1 – “I need to use a restroom”

Girl #2  – “I know right? I have to piss like a racehorse”

No matter the difference in their outer appearance, Girl #1 was much more attractive to me by the mere choice of how she talked.

David Lee Roth goes on to sing…

The West coast has the sunshine
And the girls all get so tanned
I dig a french bikini on Hawaii island
Dolls by a palm tree in the sand

I should add, I’m also a mouth and teeth freak. (Insert inappropriate joke here)  There is something erotic about a pretty smile on a girl. It just melts’ my heart every time. I’m not talking about one of those fake, pearly-white, bleached, veneer jobs. I’m attracted to a simple, natural, beautiful smile, gummy or not. I think a girl with a smile makes me want me to smile. It’s reciprocal. No matter how hot she might be, life is way too short to pal around with a Maxim type girl who wears a scowl on her face like Professor Dumbledore, from Harry Potter. Yes, there are pretty girls all over this big beautiful world. Guys, get a chance to know them and don’t judge them by appearance. As quoted in this post, John Lyly was basically saying, guys, enjoy the rose and don’t be a prick.

Have a beautiful day! Oh, and Happy Valentine’s Day!


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