I would like to take this time to openly
undress address Eva, and her controversial comment that if ladies want to keep their man happy, they should not wear sweatpants. Actually, I think the number one cause of divorce in America is that some bitch can’t cook, but that’s another can of worms, for another blog post.
Eva, Eva, Eva, my little Cuban/Florida actress friend, sweatpants and yoga pants are hot! When you are in Los Angeles, and hiking Runyon Canyon, aren’t yoga pants and sweatpants the popular attire for all of the really hot girls in the know? Mr. Brick is a single guy who fancies himself as someone who has his chili-cheese fries’ covered fingers on the pulse of fashion. It is when a girl (or guy) wears pajama pants that are ruining the fabric of our great nation. Pajama pants, and pajama pants alone are the leading cause of divorce in our great nation.
At first, the whole “pajama pants craze” was cute. You’d be at Wal-Mart, getting some air freshener and toilet paper after last night’s taco party, and you’d see some someone wearing their pajama pants getting bacon and a dozen eggs. Or maybe, late at night you’d have to make a quick run to Walgreens to get some
condoms shampoo and there would be someone wearing pajama pants standing in line in front of you. That is where the cuteness of pajama pants ended. I should note that I recently did an unscientific poll. I found that women who can rock yoga pants, or rolled up sweatpants, usually wear them. However, girls who just can’t seem to say no to the all you can eat Chocolate fountain at the local Golden Corral, wear pajama pants. (Insert your favorite trailer park joke here)
It is plain laziness when you see someone wearing their pajama pants at the airport. I get it, they’re comfortable. But so are my MC Hammer parachute pants from the 1980’s, but they are not appropriate to be seen by everyone in public, especially since I have put on a couple of pounds they are a scootch tight in the crotch. No one wants to see that.
On Christmas day, everyone is out and about wearing their newly gifted Christmas themed pajama pants. You’ve seen them, the pajama pants with dancing reindeer, Christmas trees, or candy canes, on them. I think Christmas pajama pants are much more of an eyesore than the ugly Christmas sweaters.
Finally, I would like to point out that Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling are not even married, they are just playing house. Yes, they live together and have a child together. They have never gotten around to get married. How the hell does she know what causes divorce, when she doesn’t even know what typically causes marriage?
Have a great day.
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