Me: Hi, my name is Mr. Brick, and I am addicted to Candy Crush Everyone in the blogging world: Hi, Mr. Brick
Here is my addiction story.
I was just reading the posts on my Facebook wall and a message popped up. It was from Mark Zuckerberg, the creator of Facebook. He was inviting me to a new game on Facebook called, Candy Crush. Because I was one of his “special” 1.4 billion friends, he was going to let me play this game for free.
At first I really sucked at playing Candy Crush… and that creepy music playing in the background, well, it was like a siren calling a sailor to the jagged edge of a cliff. I wasn’t any good, but I wanted more. What could it hurt? It was just a game, and it was free, right?
I played and played and zoomed all the way up to level 5. OK, maybe I no longer clean the house. And perhaps I now find it way easier to drink diet coke and order Chinese take-out, rather than buy groceries and cook my own meals. The truth be told, I want to spend more time with my new love, Candy Crush, and anything that allows me to do that, is fair game in my book. As my BFF, Mark Zuckerberg told me, it’s free and it’s just a game.
After several months of my self-imposed Candy Crush hibernation, friends no longer spoke to me. They said something about being sick and tired of me sending them game requests to play Candy Crush. I’m sorry if that pissed them off, but I need to advance to the next level. Surely I was not sending them nearly as many Candy Crush game requests at they were sending me annoying photos of their snot-nosed kids or stupid cat memes.
Mark Zuckerberg is such a good friend. I am so thankful he introduced me to Candy Crush. However, I wonder why he no longer takes my phone calls? That’s kind of odd, don’t you think?
Soon I was really losing a lot of other friends on Facebook. They abandoned me faster than the Kardashian reality series lost its viewers. I became desperate. I couldn’t sleep. My body was all sweaty and clammy to the touch. I wanted more Candy Crush. No, I needed more Candy Crush. So, I did what any junkie would do to get their next fix. I started paying Facebook for more lives, extra fruit, gold bars and for all of the in-play features I could buy.
Not longer after that drastic measure, my telephone started blowing up. I did not recognize the numbers, so I ignored the calls. But soon my curiosity got the best of me, maybe it was my Mom. So the next time my phone rang I answered it. The call was from my bank. According to the bank representative, my account was overdrawn by $837 dollars. She said due to 46 payments I made to a Palo Alto company within the last 3 weeks. She was thinking my account had been breached. She asked me if they were legitimate charges. I assured that they were. When we hung up I took the battery out of my cell phone. Problem solved. No more bank calls and I can get back to my true love, Candy Crush.
I am now up to level 165. I am broke and on food stamps.I can barely afford my diet coke. At this point, Chinese take-out would be a luxury. I have no friends. They all unfriended me over my addiction. My family contacted Dr. Drew and Dr. Phil to try to do a Candy Crush intervention on me. Both doctors agreed with Mark Zuckerberg and that it was just a game.
So, now I am begging you… please go onto Facebook and add me to your friends, so I can get new friend bonuses on Candy Crush and then will be able to advance to the next stage. Please… I am desperate. Don’t worry, it’s not like you will get addicted or anything, it’s just a game.
Have a great day! Mr. Brick
You can follow me on Twitter @Mr Brick
You can follow me on Facebook here.