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Everything I know in Life I learned on Gilligan’s Island

But Mom.... I'm not watching mindless TV, I'm learning stuff.
But Mom and Dad…. I’m not watching mindless TV, I’m learning stuff.

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale.
A tale of a fateful blog. 
That started from my humble roots 
into a semi daily log.

So, Mr. Brick grew up in a house with seven kids. I remember when my family got our first color TV set. It was 1965, I was a toe-headed, bespectacled kid of 5 years old. The “Boob Tube”, as Dad called it, was a vast wasteland that was going to fry my brain. I didn’t agree.

I was enamored with the colorful moving images the made my mind escape. Sometimes I fell asleep watching TV. I had to sit back at least 10 feet and I had to wear my fashion-less black framed glasses. Sometimes Mom made a plate of chocolate chip cookies for me to munch on while I watched TV.

There was one show that spoke to me, like a batch of brownies speaks to a fat boy, and that television program was Gilligan’s Island.  I loved it… no wait, I lived it. I felt bad that Skipper had to put up with some of the shenanigans that Gilligan (Bob Denver) got the castaways into and sometimes I would cry for Skipper (Alan Hale, Jr.). I dressed as Gilligan one Halloween. I wanted to marry a girl just like MaryAnn Summers  (Dawn Wells).

My Dad is a genius. He can fix anything… when I was little, I thought he actually learned it all from watching The Professor (Russell Johnson) because that is what he told me. He never was able to pick up Japanese submarines using coconuts shells and the metal from an old pair of earrings from Ginger (Tina Louise). But that did not matter, I never wanted to speak Japanese anyway.

My Uncle Walt was my real life Thurston Howell, lll (Jim Backus) and his wife, my Aunt Eva, was a spitting image of “Lovey” (Natalie Schafer) They were rich. Not Bill Gates rich, but they were like Brad Pitt rich. Whenever they came to visit from the east coast it was just like Christmas all over again. No expenses were spared. They were always going on boat cruises. But the boats they were cruising on were more like the SS Titanic than the SS Minow. Many nights I cried myself to sleep thinking they were going to end up ship-wrecked, and as castaways on a deserted island somewhere. My very first wet dream involved just me and Mary Ann stranded on a desert island.

The most popular desserts served on Gilligan’s Island were coconut cream pies and banana cream pies. Mary Ann was always baking them. To this day my favorite pies are both coconut cream pie and a good old-fashioned banana cream pie. Thanks Mary Ann.

I thought it would be fun to live in a hut. So on one unsupervised Saturday afternoon I decided to construct a hut using bamboo from pieces of patio furniture I sawed in half, much to my father’s chagrin. I was grounded for 2 weeks. No after school snacks, no walking the family dog, Korki and sadly… no TV. I asked my older sister to lobby on my behalf to allow me to watch TV. Since Cheri had my dad wrapped around his little finger, after 2 very long days my TV viewing privileges were fully restored. Thanks, Cheri!

I loved everything about Gilligan’s Island because it did teach me things. Here are Mr. Brick’s top 5 takeaways from watching Gilligan’s Island:

  1. If someone is fat, they should always sleep in the bottom hammock
  2. Don’t leave home without a cell phone with GPS
  3. Movie Stars wear makeup to bed
  4. You can actually survive without a McRib just as long as you have plenty of coconuts and bananas.
  5. If you go on a road trip, or pleasure cruise and they say it’s only 3 hours…pack extra underpants, just in case.

 

That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

Mr. Brick

Please follow me on Twitter @MrBrick

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