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Fun At The County Fair?

I went to the county fair and these are my observations. You can fill in the blank with the name of your own local fair, it all applies

Welcome to the ___________________________________  County Fair

(enter you county name above)

  • * The mullet is still a viable fashion style for men in this part of the country.
  • * You couldn’t get a better tasting $12.95 corndog anywhere. Not even at the airport.
  • * 11-year old skanks with make-up, still look like 11-year old skanks.
  • * Honey Boo Boo must have relatives in the hills surrounding the fairgrounds.
  • * You don’t  need to dress up to go to the fair. It’s not like you’re going to Wal-Mart.
  • * If you’re over 18 it’s silly to spend $25 in game tickets to win a big stuffed animal.
  • * If you’re over 18, male and walking around with a giant purple teddy bear, you’re not cool.
  • * Pull your pants up. If I wanted to see you underpants I would ask. I don’t.
  • * 21-year old skanks with make-up still look like 21-year old skanks.
  • * 31-year old skanks without make-up look like 75-year old skanks.
  • * The sham wow is a really cool invention.
  • * Teeth are optional if you work in the carnival midway section.
  • * The carnival games are not rigged. The toothless wonder is just obviously a much better basketball player than the local hoop star who doesn’t win a stuffed animal for his sweetie after $30 worth of tickets and trying. The Carnie makes the lay-up, and the ball stays in the wicker basket each and every time.
  • *An entire container of alcohol sanitation wipes are not enough prevention when entering a porta potty located at a county fair.
  • * Cotton Candy, Elephant Ears and Caramel apples are not the appropriate remedy for screaming children.
  • * If you stand next to the spin art booth for longer than 5 minutes you can get high. Just look at the person running it.
  • *If you have to ask the girl at the Tex-Mex food booth if they take food stamps, you shouldn’t be at the fair.
  • * If you run into people from your school, neighborhood, church, temple or mosque that you normally don’t talk to, it’s better to just nod when you see them instead of trying to start a fake conversation and saying how great it is to see them.  It isn’t.  Don’t lie at the fair. Don’t be a fair liar.

 

Mr. Brick

Follow me at the fair, I mean on Twitter @MrBrick

 

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