I don’t spend countless hours watching “The Real Housewives of Anywhere” marathons like some people do, but on an occasion, I might watch the ladies from Orange County or the ones from New York. I had a self-imposed, “no watchie” for a long time when that vile Jill Zarin was an NYC housewife. I did not like her. I don’t know why I am sure she is a respectable lady. She’s not like Joy Behar but still was kinda insulting to others. Sometimes just hearing her speak would curdle the milk in my Cap’n Crunch. So, technically, she must be some kinda secret cereal killer.
Then there is the Countess, Luann. Holy crap, I haven’t seen anyone that phony since “Lovey” was stranded on Gilligan’s Island. The funny thing is, as regal and rich as Luann tries to make people think she is, she has the least amount of money of all of them. Not that money is the most important thing in the world, and hey Luann sure beats me in the battle of the bank balance. Including the lucky 1971 Kennedy dollar, I carry as good luck, the $37.46 balance I have on my Jack-In-The-Box card, and combined with my anemic checking account balance, I have about $100. Just kidding, of course. But I’m a starving writer/artist…what do you expect? But, that’s why I think Luann’s so-called song was entitled, “Money Doesn’t Buy You Class”…because she doesn’t have any…that is compared to the other Housewives on all of the series. But this blog isn’t about what I don’t like, it is all about what I do like. And what I really do like is housewife, Carole Radziwill.
Carole is cool. Carole is sexy. Carole also has a great smile. Carole is super funny. Here is her Bravo Blog. Carole is the type of woman I could hang out with. I also think she would laugh at most of my jokes, and I kinda think she would even put up with my dog, Sunny. She has a boxer named Margaret. She seems easy-going like any typical dog owner. If she had 7 cats, no matter how hot she was I would call that a deal-breaker. But one dog…that’s my kinda girl. We both also share the #oldschool love of listening to music on vinyl…the passion of writing, and both have written novels. Her novel, What Remains is published, mine inTWINition of Murder is not. I know, it’s like we’re twins. (if only) I loved the fact that she has no children yet and she doesn’t see that as a life handicap…WORD! I certainly share her feelings on that. Nothing is more dreadful than calling a friend and for them to abruptly say, “Here my baby wants to talk to you.” Bullshit, your baby is still crapping their pants on an hourly basis, so they’re not going to suddenly learn how to speak in a nanosecond. I hate it when that happens. And the irony of that is, I’m writing and drawing the series of children’s books. But in my defense, my books are not intended for the, still loading it in their diapers kind of kids, they are for older kids like at least 4 years of age. I love children, babies are a little tedious.
In my days as a talent agent in Hollywood, when I found someone I wanted to meet like Carole, it was much easier. Now when I am kinda out of the loop it makes it almost impossible. So, I most likely will never get the opportunity to meet Carole. But just the fact that she doesn’t pretend to be someone she isn’t, makes her a real star, in my book. The last hot housewife, who also wasn’t technically a housewife, who was really real and super down to earth was someone named Bethenny Frankel….hmmm, whatever happened to her? Oh yeah, she just created her own mega empire, that’s all.
Well, Carole, when you read my blog, have your people, call my people, and we can get together and go out and try to find your long-lost Emmy!!! (scratching my head…”Seriously, how do you lose a freakin’ Emmy?”) Let’s all help Carole find her missing Emmy award. Tweet about at #whereintheworldiscarolesemmy I feel so bad, her award’s display looks so bare with only two Emmys and one Peabody award….we all need to make sure Carole’s trophy shelf is complete! So start snooping around for the missing statue. Thanks.
Have a great day!
Photos: Lawrence Schwartzwald / Splash News.
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