This post is not about sexual orientation. Honestly, I could care less what someone else does to get their jollies. But, all of this political correctness has made a real man go the way of the dinosaur. Just so we are all are on the same page, here are a couple of reference points on the Wimp vs Real Man Scale (WVRMS):
John Wayne = Real Man
Don Knotts – Wimp
Elvis Presley – Real Man
Justin Bieber = Wimp
Casey Kasem = Real Man
Ryan Seacrest = Wimp
Johnny Carson = Real Man
Jimmy Fallon = Wimp
I remember my great, great-grandmother spinning stories about the dust bowl, the great depression and how she was originally attracted to my great, great-grandfather because she once saw him trap and skin a beaver with his bare hands. Now, 100 years later if someone tried that they would be prosecuted for cruelty to animals. It’s a shame to think that the only thing our society has done in the past 100 years is to make it a crime for man to grab a Beaver. (Insert rim-shot sound EFX here)
Even though I am not a tough guy or a manly man, I am oddly fascinated with all sorts of crap from the good old days that separated the men from the boys. I think I would have loved to be an explorer, gold miner or a treasure hunter…but no, I grow up to be a blogger. (Intimidating, I know!)
Thank goodness for reality TV because I can now watch other guys pan for gold or seek treasures from the bottom of the sea without having to live in a pre-toilet paper era myself. I admit I enjoy little creature features like 4 ply toilet paper. Even those these reality shows make it appear its tough going mining for gold, but I know it is not like the old days. Because when the cameras are turned off on these reality shows the cast go to a nearby hotel to order room service and get a good night’s sleep. Back in the real gold rush days when a miner or trapper was done with their day’s work they still had to gather wood and build a fire just to get something to eat. That is why my dreams of becoming “Bricks McGeyver” will never ever happen. When I am hungry I don’t want to have to do anything other than to pick up a call phone and order a pizza or hit the McDonald’s drive-thru for a McRib. Yes, basically I am a wimp. But it’s not my fault…society has turned me into this.
OK, I am a wimp and I have no problem admitting that. However, I must be in good company because our nation is basically become a breeding ground for wimps. We have been wimp-dified by our society. It appears we do not want real men, we want wimps. A typical scan of the headlines reveal this on a daily basis. If you are married and you have a baby boy who decided they want to wear dresses and play with Barbies, we’re suppose to applaud the child and hail the parents as heroes for allowing a 3-year-old boy to make all of the decisions in the house. If a boy in elementary school teases a little girl by trying to kiss her during recess, he is expelled from school and labeled a sexual predator. However, if that same boy tried to kiss another boy nothing would be done about it and all of the other children in that school would be required to attend a 20-hour tolerance training program.
Here are some examples of WVRMS with macho male police role models on TV.
Columbo = Real Man
Magnum P.I. = Real Man
Tubbs and Crocket from Miami Vice = Real Men
Erik Estrada from CHIPS = Real Man
Those characters were real men, not like some of the TV wimpy cops characters of today. I think it all started going down hill when Brad Garett played the police officer character Robert Barone. Could there have ever been a bigger TV Cop wuss? And now we have to deal with the wimpy police officer Mike Biggs, played by Billy Gardell on Mike & Molly. If our cops are wimpy then there goes our society. “Book ’em Dano.” I remember hearing the Steve McGarrett character bark that order from Hawaii 5-0.
Steve McGarrett = Real Man and known bad-ass cop. And let’s also not forget
Sgt. Joe Friday from Dragnet = Real Man. He was no wimp either. All he wanted was the facts. “Just the facts, ma’am.”
Our athlete heroes have also taken a dip on the WVRMS.
Babe Ruth = Real Man
Pete Rose = Real Man
Michael Phelps = Wimp
Johnny Weir = Wimp
AJ Foyt = Real Man
Kasey Kahne = Wimp.
Sometimes the Wimp vs Real Man Scale can unfold differently within the same family tree, but different generations.
Richard Petty = Real Man
Kyle Petty = Wimp
Dale Earnhardt = Real Man
Dale Earnhardt, Jr. = Wimp
We have even lowered the machismo level in our advertising icons. Here are some examples of advertising icons on the WVRMS:
Marlboro Man = Real Man
Geico Geeko = Wimp
Mr. Whipple = Real Man
Sham Wow Dude = Wimp
I could go on for days, but I think you get the point. Besides, its time I write the post about Real Ladies vs Hoes (RLVH)
Have a great day –
Follow me on Twitter @MrBrick