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5 Reasons Why Danica Patrick Will Become The Greatest NASCAR Driver EVER

OK, so my Go Daddy girl, Danica Patrick crashed into the wall during the first of the two Gatorade duels the other day. No big deal, it happens to all race car drivers. besides, it clearly wasn’t her fault. And thank God she wasn’t hurt. I mean, what is she 5 foot tall and most likely less than 90 pounds soaking wet? (Insert your own fantasy here)

So, I have researched the crap out of the history of NASCAR and I have come to the conclusion that Danica Patrick will go down as the greatest NASCAR driver ever.  (Insert your second fantasy here)

1.  She is a chick in a male dominated sport. Men love that. Women love that.  Sponsors love that.

2.  Speaking of sponsors. NASCAR is built upon the relationship between drivers and their sponsors.  You could mention a brand like Home Depot, Budweiser or Lowes and know exactly what driver was associated with those brands. But until now, the major sponsors were manly sponsors like home improvement stores or beer. But with Danica on board now as a full-time NASCAR driver you can literally expand the field of potential sponsors to include women products. For example:

“If you are going 200 miles an hour and start spotting – don’t you want to feel protected?. Hi I’m Danica Patrick, driver of the #10 Kotex car.” Not sure that sponsorship would have worked with any other driver….oh wait, maybe the Busch brothers.

3. She has talent. Say what you will, the girl can drive a mean ride.  If you think Danicamania is bad now, just wait until she wins her first race. Pandemonium. And it might be sooner than you think. She just grabbed the pole position for the Nationwide Daytona race. Only the 2nd female to accomplish that! Pole Position? (Insert another fantasy here)

4. Danica is very attractive and well spoken. The roots of  NASCAR  racing started with moonshiners trying to outrun the law. Most drivers were from the hills of North Carolina and deep parts of the Florida swamp. The evolution  from Neanderthal to a normal person is now complete with Danica.  Have you ever tried to listen to an interview with some NASCAR drivers? Like with Ward Burton or Hermie Sadler? OMG, where are the english subtitles when you need them. Seriously.

5. The main reason I know Danica Patrick will become the greatest NASCAR driver in history is because it is good for the sport. The girl sells tickets, or as they say in the event business, “she puts butts in the seats.” NASCAR is more of an entertainment venture than an actual sport. Yes, there is a skill involved, but NASCAR controls what happens on the track so much so that in many races they actually can dictate who wins. They throw a yellow flag cautions for “debris on the track” more often than a fat boy eats chocolate cake. They can issue penalties at will, causing the success (or lack of) for any driver at any time. So,  to be sure, I love Danica. I think she is great for NASCAR. And I think she has changed the sport forever – in a very good way. Do I think NASCAR is fixed? No way, these drivers are just as big of athletes as any WWF wrestler! And we know that WWF wrestling is real.

Enjoy Speed Weeks 2012. Go Danica!!

Mr. Brick

Follow me on Twitter @MrBrick

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9 thoughts on “5 Reasons Why Danica Patrick Will Become The Greatest NASCAR Driver EVER

    1. Thanks Hook. Danica sure had a rough week, but I’m glad she wasn’t hurt…just cant wrap my brain around having to find some dude to idolize like I do Danica.

      Mr. Bricks

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