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Say “Who Cares” to the Dress

Photo Credit TLC

There’s a very silly TV show on TLC called, Say Yes To The Dress. I say silly because I’m a guy and the thought of spending more than 10 minutes to decide on an article of clothing seems like an eternity to me. And then to invite family and friends to get their personal opinions… well, at that point you would have me steps away from self-admitting myself to the local mental health facility.

I get that the wedding is a big event for the bride and that she wants to look perfect for the big day. I even get that some girls have been dreaming about their wedding dress since they got their very first “Bride Barbie” doll. But that doesn’t mean we need to turn that dream into a television extravaganza. The only time I want my family and friends bursting into tears when they see what I am wearing is at my funeral, just sayin’.

 Another thing about the idea of picking a dress and turning it into some sort of personal national holiday is the cost of the dress. Some dresses cost more than a new car.  Would you buy a new car, bubble wrap it and then park it in the garage, never to be driven again? No, that’s insane. The wedding dress will be worn one day, and one day only, unless you’re a Kardashian. Then you will most likely have multiple weddings because weddings aren’t real to you.  So why on God’s great earth would you want to spend even a penny more than say, the cost of a bucket of spicy wings on a dress that you are going to wear just once. Seriously, I don’t get it.

I have heard many girls actually save the dress after the wedding, preserving it in some sort of protective wedding dress bubble wrap. OK, what’s the point of this? My thought is ok, you looked as good as it gets on that day, now let’s sell the dress on eBay and get some needed cash and head to the casino for a night of fun. But the chance of a girl selling her wedding dress is slimmer than the chance of Rebecca Black having another hit song. That thought process is so polar opposite of what guys think about what they wore at a wedding. After the ceremony, a groom can’t wait to get out of the tuxedo and take it back to the rental shop.

There is no justification for this silly ritual of having your Mom and BFF’s get together to help you try on a wedding dress.  Your friends just sit there the entire time quietly complaining about your choices, not wanting to turn you into a bridezilla. Your mom is numb. She is quietly fretting over the cost of the dress because she’s going to end up paying for it. And the bride-to-be says, “I’m doing this so I look beautiful for my new husband.” Honey, sorry to burst your bride bubble but he would rather see you butt-naked than in a frilly dress that is going to take him 45 minutes to get you out of in the honeymoon suite.

So, I just say who cares to the dress!

Mr. Brick

Follow me on Twitter @MrBrick

2 thoughts on “Say “Who Cares” to the Dress

  1. I finally saw “Bridesmaids” over the weekend so this post had additional meaning. Totally agree. I guess guys don’t have the “Dress Gene” in their DNA.

    1. I haven’t seen that movie yet…I’m kinda behind on my movies, still waiting to go see The Posideon Adeventure (the original one with Shelly Winters) I guess movie going isn’y my thing!

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