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Out On A Limb: Predictions For 2012

Ok, you have waited an entire year for my wacky predictions for the new year. I don’t want you to have to wait a minute longer. Here they are, in no order of importance:

My Blog will be featured on WordPress Freshly Pressed main page.

When Facebook changes their timeline layout millions will dislike, but no one will actually delete their profile.

TLC will introduce their viewing audience to a new family of midgets. The series will be short-lived.

The FDA will announce that cheese causes cancer in rats.

McDonald’s will abruptly cancel their long anticipated McRat Cheese Burger.

A Kardashian will have a child out-of-wedlock.

Ted Williams’ frozen head will accidentally thaw and start talking. His first words will be, “Was it Global Warming?”

Al Gore will go on Twitter to comment on the Ted Williams’ head thaw and tweet, “See, I told you.”

TMZ will have breaking news that  Chaz Bono wants to switch back to being a woman but doesn’t have the balls to do it.

My children’s picture book, The Rat Pack of Hollywood will debut in 2012 to rave reviews.

NASCAR will celebrate Danica Patrick being the first woman to win a NASCAR race, to which Kasey Kahne will say, “Hey wait, I won a NASCAR race.”

Right before he is voted out of office President Obama will sign an executive order extending unemployment benefits for 20 years.

A major glitch will cause Twitter to be down for days, forcing tweeters to miss thousands of tweets they would never have read anyway.

A summer heat wave will force the Los Angeles Angels to cancel a week’s worth of games. Fans won’t notice the difference.

The new contestants on American Idol 2012 will cry more and have sadder back-stories than contestants from previous years.

My crime novel inTWINition of Murder will be released in 2012 to rave reviews.

The US Government’s Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac programs will take homes they repossessed from rich families and start giving them away free to poor families with children. Octomom will be given her own apartment complex.

The NBA 2012 season will be cancelled for lack of interest.

A video of my dog Sunny eating an entire box of Cap’n Crunch that was left unattended on the kitchen counter will go viral on YouTube.

No one will ask Mr. Brick to make predictions in 2013.

Have a happy New Year!

Mr. Brick

Follow me on Twitter @MrBrick