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How To Get More Rejection Letters

I like the new quick rejection email over the old-fashioned snail mail red rubber stamped rejection letter

One great thing about the internet is that feedback for anything you do online is almost instantaneous. That’s great if you are inquiring whether or not the newest  86 inch Plasma TV  is in stock at your favorite online retailer or not. It is also very useful to check your current bank balance for those like me who don’t keep track in the check register.

But it is not so great if you are inquiring with a publisher about the latest manuscript you have written and even before you are log off you get a response with a big fat no. The problem is they just don’t say no. They are in the literary  field and so they use a little more flowery language to tell you to get lost. Here are some of the better rejection emails:

  1. LOL, are you kidding us, Mr. Brick?
  2. Don’t quit you day job, unless your day job involves a keyboard, then yeah, we think you should quit!
  3. Not only are passing on this project, but we have decided to get out of the publishing business. Thanks for pushing us over the edge!
  4. Every once in a while a really great unsolicited manuscript lands on our desk. This is not one of them.
  5. To say we disliked your material would be a gross understatement of our opinion of it.
  6. Maybe you should self publishing. On second thought,  that would be a terrible waste of your money.
  7. Step away from the computer, for reals,  dude.
  8. To quote Simon Cowell, “It was pure rubbish Mr. Brick.”
  9. Thanks for the laugh.
  10. We have a deal for you. You don’t call us and we won’t call you. Deal?
But looking on the bright side, at least I know where I stand with the publishers I sent it to who al;ready said nope. No more waiting six to eight months  like the old days of sending off a query letter and a SASE and then having to wait an eternity to get kicked in the butt. I know how heard it is to sell a book, movie script, art work, song and there are no sure-fire methods. Talent always rises to the top. It is nice that I can sit in my pajamas and send out query letters and get so much instant feedback.
If you are looking for a great website to keep track of what you send out I highly recommend this site: Query Tracker.
Have a great day and happy submitting!
Mr Brick
Follow me on Twitter @MrBrick

5 thoughts on “How To Get More Rejection Letters

  1. I have received so many rejection letters over the years I could actually wallpaper a room. And yes, the rejection emails put a whole different slant on things. Quick and straight to the point. Not for the faint-hearted. The good thing is you can delete them. Makes me feel better. That’s great you are submitting, though. Don’t give up!

  2. Wow, some of those are a bit harsh. Then you know, the industry only has limited resources and gigantic slush piles don’t help the budget. Unsolicited material is usually looked at by unpaid interns doing work experience for university, most of the time.

    I think job rejection letters are the worst!

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