So last night I had a spaghetti dinner at the home of some new friends that I had just met within the last few months . The conversation, like the wine was never-ending with lots of laughs along the way. At the end of the night one of my new friends’ friend, a slender red-headed girl asked me the million dollar question: “So, why are you still single?” Hello. Why am I still single? I could hardly believe that someone actually asked me that question. I was ready to volley back with, “Because I don’t want to settle for someone as boring as you!”, but I didn’t say that.
I guess I was offended because the question was stated in such a way that I was being judged, criticized and dismissed in a single sentence. Now I kinda know how the contestants must have felt going against Simon Cowell on American Idol. But as I think about it, if Simon had asked me the same question, that would have been OK with me. Simon had a way of making someone feel like crap, but you still respected him for expressing his opinion because you knew exactly where he stood.
That was the problem. I had no idea where the Miss Smarty Pants – a five foot, uptight, green-eyed Ginger stood in making a statement like that to someone she had just met. Did she say it because suddenly the man of her dreams was standing right in front her (most unlikely)? Or did she blurt out the statement because she wanted to hear a story that would reaffirm why she was also single (most likely).
Being single is not a totally bad thing. I enjoy being single. But if I had to list the top 10 reasons why I thought I am still single, the list would look something like this:
- I don’t lie if a girl asks me if her butt looks big in a specific dress or pair of jeans.
- A nice dinner out is going to Johnny Rockets. A really nice dinner is going to Ruby Tuesday.
- The toilet paper roll goes under, not over. That is nonnegotiable.
- To love me is to also love my dog Sunny.
- I love to joke around (clean funny jokes) and I have a wicked sense of humor. You don’t have to laugh at 100% of my jokes, but try and keep it in and around the 78% range just to make me feel good.
- I don’t like girls who swear like a sailor or tell raunchy jokes. If I wanted to hear that kind of talk I would have joined the Navy.
- If something isn’t working right I have no problem making changes. Life is too short.
- I watch a lot of TV and go out to very few movies.
- You can never drink too much diet coke.
- It is my firm belief that in every relationship the guy should always weigh more than the girl.
Perhaps I am too rigid in what I am looking for and maybe it was good that Ms. Smarty Pants busted me on still being single, but it smarts just the same. Maybe I need to go on that new reality dating series where they hook-up people like me, it’s called – The Not Even Close To Being A Millionaire Matchmaker.
Have a great day!
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Date me on: Naw, just kidding. I am not on any dating sites.